Marriage

How I Met Jeff ~ Part 4

Happy Wednesday everyone!
I can’t believe it’s taken me 4 blog posts to finally wrap up the story of how Jeff and I met. There was so much more to say than I had previously thought. Taking our story all the way to the wedding was a little more than I had planned but I feel it pulls everything together properly. Our story needs to be told in it’s entirety.
If you missed the others parts of the story, you definitely need to catch up.
Read Part 1 here.
Read Part 2 here.
Read Part 3 here.
Part 4
 If you remember where we left off in my last post, my Mom had just called me with crazy news.  She let me know that my ex-boyfriend, Andy, had come by the house wanting to talk to me.
I was shocked to say the least.  It was the night before my wedding and we hadn’t spoken in a several months. As a matter of fact, our last conversation did not go well and then there was that letter that I had written to him telling him that I had found someone while we were broken up.  I told him I hoped that he had done the same.  Suffice it to say I never heard from him again.
The fact that he dropped by my parents house unexpectedly was out of left field. It felt like it was straight out of one of those romantic/comedy movies. I mean… Who does that? I was also in shock because that would mean that he flew out to Santa Barbara in order to see me. Major time, money and effort!
I knew nothing of what Andy was up to at this point in time. I did know that he had considered taking a job in Los Angeles once he graduated in May but since we hadn’t spoken in quite awhile, I didn’t know what he was doing.
(Timewise… to put things in perspective, the month and year is December, 1988… right after Andy graduated in May. I was one year older and had graduated the prior year)
My mom told me that Andy asked her to have me call him that night. He really wanted to talk. I remember putting the phone down and looking at Jeff, telling him that Andy had shown up in California looking for me.
My heart was in my throat and I didn’t know what Jeff would say. Of course he was calm, cool and collected. Lol. He told me he thought I should call Andy.
I love that about Jeff. He was born 40 as they say and he is always so together and strong.
(Jeff, his brother Brian and other brother Keith)
I decided to wait until I arrived at my parent’s home in Santa Barbara to make the call.
Once home I called Andy immediately. I remember feeling nervous. I had no clue why my ex would show up last minute. What did he want to say? He wasn’t one of those impromptu kind of guys…
As soon as we began talking I felt so comfortable. Andy was always easy to talk to and so great. He played a big part in my life. I met him when I was a sophomore in college and he was a freshman. I remember thinking that he was so much more together than me at the time. He was super nice, and part a large family that he loved. He had tons of friends and he played soccer for the school we went to.

We dated for a few years and had an amazing relationship. We grew up together and talked about the future. When I was in college, I felt he would be the one I would marry. Doesn’t everyone hope for that with their first real love?  But I think I always felt, deep down inside that we weren’t meant to be. I always felt that I would marry someone a little older, maybe a little wiser?

It’s hard to explain without sounding bad but the lack of love in our relationship really stood out to me whenever we went to a romantic movie and I realized I didn’t share the same feelings for my OWN boyfriend. I think 2/3rds into the relationship I knew that we probably weren’t right for one another but I loved him so much and considered him my best friend… Who wants to lose that? Certainly not me. I never wanted to hurt him nor myself for that matter.

Back to the phone call…

We talked for over 2-3 hours. There was no animosity nor blame. It was happy, loving and supportive.

I know that our relationship played a big part on who I had become as a person. He helped me find what I needed in my life and I was forever thankful for that. I loved the friendship we had formed and I had missed it.
I wanted him to know that night how happy I was that he made the effort to see me.  He told me that his friends asked as he was leaving, “Why are you flying out to Santa Barbara? It looks desperate. What are you thinking?”.
He said he felt bad with how things were left. I fully understood that. He wanted to wish me the best and he wanted me to have a great life. Do I feel like he still had feelings for me? Possibly.. he never actually said anything about that. But he respected the choice I made and he was nothing but kind and polite.
I’ll never forget talking to him and saying to him that I knew there was someone out there who was meant to be his love and I was so thankful that we had dated.
He told me that he had actually moved to LA for a great job. I remember feeling so excited for him. We wrapped everything up and I have to say…  I felt like Andy and I had closure and all was right in the world.
I immediately went and told Jeff everything. He could see the smile on my face… He looked at me and hugged me and said that he was so happy that I had closure. I don’t know any other man who would say the same thing.
The next day, our wedding day, was the most beautiful day ever. The weather was unseasonably warm. It was perfect. I love summer and I couldn’t believe our luck.

(Betsy helping me get ready…)

The wedding was slated for 4:30 pm. My dress was fluffy and full of layers and layers of silk…very 80’s and I loved it. The chapel we had chosen was simple and elegant. It sat on State Street and all our immediate friends and family showed up. It was a magical moment. My sister helped me get ready and before I walked down the aisle with my dad I’ll never forget the way he looked at me and told me how much he loved me and how happy he was for me. My dad adored Jeff, just like he adored Jeff’s brother, Doug, who was still dating Betsy. There was a true love for the entire Wicks family that stemmed from years before.

It was heartfelt and true.

After the ceremony I remember walking down the aisle between everyone feeling so special. When Jeff and I reached the door of the church and looked at one another.. I started crying hysterically.

Jeff laughed and hugged me as I cried. So typical.
With everyone smiling at us and hugging us at the entrance of the church we jumped in the car, poofy layers and all, and left for my parent’s house. We had planned a cake and champagne toast celebration. It was low key and perfect for us and the budget we were on.

Jeff and I booked a bed and breakfast for our wedding night.  I’m not sure whose decision that was (probably mine) but it most certainly wasn’t the Four Seasons.

All our brothers and sisters took off for a fun night out.  I remember clearly the two of us sitting in the B&B talking about how we wished we were with them. We were 26 and 23… can you blame us? We decided then and there to look for them after dinner.  Unfortunately we couldn’t find them (So 80s.. this would never happen today with cell phones. No texting!)  so instead of spending the night alone we headed back to my parent’s house and knocked on the door.  To say they were surprised to see us was an understatement.
We told them about our endless search and that we wanted to celebrate a little more.  Being the greatest parents ever they made us pancakes and we laughed and talked until at least midnight. It was one of the sweetest nights ever.

I remember telling our siblings NOT to decorate the car but of course they ignored us and went to town. So fun. Our family rocks.

To bring this story to a close:
A. I’m so happy that my ex-boyfriend showed up on my parents’ doorstep and we were finally able to have closure.
B. So happy that Jeff and I passed up on an expensive formal wedding in lieu of purchasing a new home!

C. Doug and Betsy continued to date, and then eventually broke up. And then dated again.. then broke up again. (This took all of around 9 years) Then just when I thought they might get back together again for the third and final time.. Betsy met the true love of her life while signing in at work. Jon and Betsy are both pilots for United and the weird thing is, they met the day after Betsy told me that she thought she and Doug might make another date the following weekend.

(Doug and Jeff)

I feel like things happen for a reason, and just like Jeff and I, Jon and Betsy fell in love quickly and got married soon thereafter.  Kismet as they say…

I hope you have enjoyed this lengthy four part saga about our love..
It’s been an incredible experience reliving all the moments while writing this. I feel so lucky to have found the man that I have married. He’s my best friend and I can’t imagine living this life without him.
Xx,
Kristy
If you enjoyed this story – You may like the story about my InVitro Journey. Click here to read part 1.
Thoughts?

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98 thoughts on “How I Met Jeff ~ Part 4

  1. Hello Kristy,
    a wonderful love story.
    But what happened to Doug?
    And your sister is now blonde?
    Thank you for sharing with us!
    Greetings from Germany!

  2. Thank for sharing what a beautiful story. My husband are high school sweethearts that met at 16 married and ten years later we have now been married 19 years and also decided to far go the big wedding to buy a house as well (never regretted that decision either) but we planned our wedding in 3 weeks so we could marry on New Year’s Eve.

  3. This is such a sweet love story! Truly a “story book” kind! You two seem perfect for one another. You both are blessed you have one another.?

  4. What a beautiful story ?
    And what happened to the handsome Doug?
    “Kismet” ??? i never imagined that Americans people use this word!

    I wish you a long beautiful happy life with Jeff and the beautiful Emma ?

  5. Oh my goodness Kristy – I LOVED your story. You and Jeff are just SO darned gorgeous together and obviously made for each other. He really is a rock and it shines through in every instagram post and story! Thank you for giving us a little glimpse into the magic. Paula xx

  6. Kristy, I loved reading your love story…you and Jeff are a very special couple and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness…thanks for sharing!

  7. I loved your story. How great. You won’t remember, as no doubt you get many comments daily, but a few months ago I asked you how long you had been married, as you seem like newlyweds. You told me you had been married 28 years. I was happily surprised when I read your “Part 4” of your story that you and Jeff were married one day before my husband and I were married and the same year.???✨

  8. Sometimes people phone someone on their wedding day just to make sure all is well. As you said when they are such a big part of your life they just care that’s all
    I know others that has happened to. Given all of the years you have been together you have chosen well. I love the way he looks at you while cooking a special meal. True love and with IG we can all feel the love. Congratulations to both of you.

  9. Kristy and Jeff what a fabulous story I love all the photos. What a great couple you are and now close my heart as spending time with you both felt special…xxx

  10. Thank you so much for sharing your very own personal story. How beautiful to read pen at hand the love you, Jeff and your families! So breathtaking in this very turbulent world!
    Wishing you and Jeff many many years of happiness and love! My love to you all!! ?❤️

  11. Beautiful love story! No one believes me when I say….you don’t have to date for years….you know right away. Funny how relationships that were short like yours are happier and successful than those how date for years, live together end up divorce. Kudos to you and your husband and keep that flame going

  12. Thanks for sharing your sweet story. You are very blessed! I am envious … not in a mean way! Just not that lucky in love. So happy for you both!

  13. Kristy, you and Jeff are such a lovely couple and a breath of fresh air in today’s world. You show how not to just settle for the first man that comes along and give a daily glimpse of what a happy married couple look like. Thank you for being so transparent.

  14. Such a beautiful story and life you two have made?? Thank you for sharing it with your fans??
    I too was wondering how Doug’s life went after Betsey?
    Much love ❌❌⭕️⭕️❤️❤️❤️

  15. A beautiful story with such a happy ending. I loved reading this and the photos are great too. You remind me of an actress called Samantha Janus when you were younger, she’s English. Thank you for sharing ?

  16. Such a fun series and I loved all of the twists and turns! My husband and I were 23 & 26 when we got married and we have now been married for 27 years. We met in 88 and were married in 90. My wedding look was almost identical…..big dress, big hair, and big head piece! I look back at my album from that time and I still love it….it was so over the top, but so 1990! We lived in Pleasanton in the early 90’s and bought our first home there. We loved going to Strizzi’s and Gay 90’s pizza….I’m sure both are gone now. We left the east bay back in 95 and relocated to the Peninsula where my husband is now closer to work. The commute to the valley was already getting bad in 95! Keep up the good work I always enjoy your posts and IG stories! Your home looks gorgeous!

  17. OMGoodnes… I’ve loved every part of y’alls love story! It is truly a movie and I LOVE the fact that you went with the better, long-term decision to buy a house than the one night party – like so many of us did and now regret. What were we thinking?! Haha. Love you two even more. Thanks for sharing your story. xo

  18. This was a story book/ movie quality story. Have you considered making a movie out of it?! I would if I were you.
    Anyway, the story touched me to my core. I am only 2 years married with a short meeting and courtship which was 5 months total from the date we met to the date we married.
    Thanks again for sharing… your fan all the way from Trinidad and Tobago

  19. I just loved reading about your love story! You write quite well and should continue!
    I too, was married at Xmas in the 80’s. In No Calofornia – The Califoronia Club .It looks like we had similar bridesmaids dresses! Emerald green – off the shoulder taffeta !
    Anyway, we had the big wedding and later a beautiful daughter. The marriage did not last but I am happy to say we are good fronds now.
    And also like you, I am a flight attendant and love traveling to new places!
    Thank you so much for a look into your intimate love story!

    Ps- what happened to Andy?!!

  20. So fun to read! Your story is truly incredible and inspiring! I love learning about your history as I get to watch your present on your insta stories! ?

  21. Wow Kristy, what a story! You kept me on my toes! I can really relate to this so much because I had been dating a guy for 4 years and as soon as I realized we weren’t meant for each other I had to be honest with him and break things off. Only 2 months later I met my now husband, and I knew only a couple weeks after meeting him that he was the one! We have been married 8 months now and it’s funny how we can look back at things and realize that everything happens for a reason and time works in such a crazy way!

    1. Hi, Doug! Sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zones… and say “hi”! It could be the beginning of another amazing story!

  22. Aaaaaamazing! What a great love story, I must say you both really are meant for each other, you have such respect and love for each other.
    Thanks for sharing ?

  23. Hello Kristy
    Thank you sooooo much for sharing your beautiful love story with your husband : I am eager to read part 5, y ou never know …I never miss any or your stories on IG ..Love from one of biggest fan from french Guiana

  24. Kristy!

    I have never been on your blog and today is the day I am reading, After always watching your instagram stories, I decided to read. Wow, so glad I did. I am sitting here at work crying my eyes out reading the love story of you and jeff! just an amazing story and full of so much love. You are so sweet and I love your story! Thank you for sharing.. I only hope I end up with my true love some day :)

  25. What a sweet story. you and Jeff are such a perfect couple. I love your blog and look forward to reading iT everyday. Where did you attend college? You are such a sweet and classy lady. We were recently in Califirnia and it was like i wanted to call you to have dinner, like you were a friend.💖 thats how you make us feel! ThNks fOr sharing!

  26. I have been smiling from ear to ear!
    I loved every word of your story!
    Your family and Jeff’s family all look like movie stars.
    You exude in your videos, your deep love for that sweet sweet man!
    I wish you would take these four parts
    Of your story and write a book!!!!!
    I would buy it!❤️

  27. I met my husband, Randy July 9th, 1993. We dated 3 days then he left for Puerto Rico where he was stationed in the Navy. We wrote letters and talked all hours on the phone. He flew back Sept 3rd and we married Sept 4th, 1993!! I just knew he was my guy!! We only have 1 child, too and immensely blessed with our Ryan. We now have a daughter-in-law, Sam, and she is amazing!! When you know…you know!! I knew I liked you the first time I watched one of your Instagram videos!!! Have fun in Vegas!!

  28. Thank you for sharing your story of how you met Jeff! Growing up in the 80’s, i loved all the pictures! Sweet, sweet story!

  29. How fun to read your story. Once I got ENGAGED after a date and a MONTh talking on the phone. It did not worked out and ended badly. I wish i could come full CIRCLE with him. But its BEEN 18 years since that.

    Thanks for sharing.

    1. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you… I have to say, we were together a ton the month and a half before we were engaged. We drove to see one another every weekend and midweek as well.
      It’s hard when you don’t feel like things are wrapped up I know. Sorry you don’t feel as if you completed that circle. xx

  30. Thank yoU for sharing your AMAZING story! It was amazing to read. Love FOLLOWING you on ig. Watching your stOries with you anD Jeff is so cute.

  31. I had a very similAr situation, i too dated someone else On and off for 5yrs during college, broke up and met my now husband, he also had to hear A lot about my ex for my closure and he didn’t waiver either, that’s wheN i knew he was the one for similar reasons you did, and We’ve been happily married for 25yrs this past june! Thanks for sharing :)

  32. What a great story . I also meT my husband on a blInd date and we married within 5 months too. i also got engaged a month later after meeting . We have been married 22 years and i also Had the the puffy sLeeve dress . I am so glad i am not alone . I dont know anyone else that has doNe that . We Were also driving a cOuple of hours to see one another and i was scared one of us was going to get in a wreck so i also sped up the wedding to Jan 4 to get Us off the road . We were going to get marriEd in june .

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